So You've Received Discovery: Tips and Tricks for Answering Divorce Discovery
Discovery requests in a Virginia divorce or custody case can feel overwhelming. When you receive interrogatories asking about factors under VA Code § 20-107.3 (equitable distribution) and § 20-124.3 (child custody and visitation), you might wonder: How much detail do I need? What are they really asking? How do I answer without hurting my case?
Let's break down some of the toughest questions and how to tackle them strategically.
Understanding What They're After
These statutes list factors the court considers when dividing property (§ 20-107.3) and determining custody (§ 20-124.3). Discovery questions based on these sections are designed to build your spouse's case—or undermine yours. Your answers become evidence, so approach them carefully.
The Hardest Questions Under § 20-107.3 (Equitable Distribution)
"Describe each monetary and non-monetary contribution you made to the well-being of the family."
This question trips people up because it's so broad. Don't just list your job and income. Include:
Household management and domestic labor
Career sacrifices you made for the family
Contributions to your spouse's education or career advancement
Home improvements or property maintenance
Financial management and bill paying
Tip: Be specific with examples and timeframes. "I put my nursing career on hold from 2015-2020 to stay home with our children" is stronger than "I sacrificed my career."
"What opportunities for future earnings and acquisitions of capital assets did you forego during the marriage?"
This connects to your contributions. Maybe you turned down promotions that required relocation, delayed graduate school, or left the workforce entirely. Document missed opportunities with specifics—job offers you declined, educational programs you postponed, business ventures you couldn't pursue.
Tip: If you have emails, texts, or other evidence of these decisions, note them in your answer and preserve them.
"Describe the circumstances and factors that contributed to the dissolution of the marriage."
This is a minefield. Virginia allows fault-based divorce, and anything you say here could be used against you.
Tip: Answer truthfully but concisely. Focus on objective facts rather than emotional accusations. If fault isn't a major issue in your case, keep it brief. If your spouse committed adultery or other fault grounds, state the facts without editorializing.
The Hardest Questions Under § 20-124.3 (Custody and Visitation)
"Describe in detail your relationship with each child, including daily involvement in their care."
Don't just say "I'm a good parent." The question is looking for specifics:
Who gets the kids ready for school?
Who handles homework, bedtime routines, doctor's appointments?
What activities do you do together?
How do you discipline? How do you provide emotional support?
Tip: Create a typical weekday and weekend schedule showing your involvement. Be honest—exaggerating will backfire if the other side has evidence to the contrary.
"Identify any mental or physical conditions affecting your ability to parent."
This feels invasive, but it's a statutory factor. If you have health issues, don't hide them—the other side likely knows anyway. Instead, explain how you manage the condition and why it doesn't impair your parenting.
Tip: If you're in treatment or therapy, emphasize your proactive approach. "I have anxiety, which I manage through medication and weekly therapy sessions, and it does not affect my parenting" is better than a defensive non-answer.
"Describe any instances where you have used physical discipline with the children."
Be very careful here. Virginia law allows reasonable corporal punishment, but definitions of "reasonable" vary. If you've spanked your children, describe the context, frequency, and your current discipline approach.
Tip: If you've evolved in your parenting methods, say so. "I occasionally used spanking as discipline until 2022, but now use time-outs and privilege removal" shows growth.
"List all persons who have lived in your household during the past five years and describe their relationship with the children."
New romantic partners, roommates, relatives—all need to be disclosed. If you have a new significant other, expect follow-up questions about their involvement with the kids.
Tip: Be factual about who lives with you and their role. If your new partner helps with the kids, don't minimize it, but emphasize your primary parental role.
General Tips for All Discovery Responses
Be truthful. Lying in discovery can destroy your credibility and your case. If you don't know an answer, say "I don't recall" or "I don't have that information available"—but use these sparingly and legitimately.
Be complete, but don't volunteer. Answer what's asked, but don't provide information beyond the scope of the question. Extra details can open new lines of attack.
Use objective language. Save the emotions for trial testimony. Discovery responses should be factual and measured.
Take your time. You typically have 21 days to respond. Use that time to gather documents, refresh your memory, and craft thoughtful answers.
Get help. These questions are designed to build legal arguments. An attorney can help you understand what the other side is really asking and how to answer strategically without compromising your case.
Final Thoughts
Discovery can feel like a test you didn't study for, but remember: these questions give you a chance to tell your story with specificity and detail. Approach them strategically, answer honestly, and don't be afraid to seek legal guidance.
Your responses matter—make them count.
